Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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