Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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