Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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