she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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