lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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