omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
