Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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