If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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