Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you

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(518): View more from New York

it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in

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(716): View more from New York

I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you

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(630): View more from Illinois

She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.

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(509): View more from Washington

Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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(308): View more from Nebraska

The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad

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(716): View more from New York

She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.

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