My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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