How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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