have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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