Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
