I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
