but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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