May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
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Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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