hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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