I just cut my nipple shaving
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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