i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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