Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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