we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
