he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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