Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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