so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
