Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
