im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
