there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Green mimosas i think yes
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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