that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
