need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
