He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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