take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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