He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
