Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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