He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
