He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My feet surprised me
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