we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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