He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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