she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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