By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
