she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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