my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
