He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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