Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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