Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My liver just had a heart attack.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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