Someone shit on the floor
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
