i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize