If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
ttyl tear gas
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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