I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
