i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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