New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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