They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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