just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
