I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize