You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize